Social anxiety is ruining my life.

It's funny because it's preventing me from seeing a doctor and doing something about it, too. Hah.I know I've been shy all my life, but this "shyness" is really starting to get out of hand. It takes all my nerve to order meals and I can't work up the courage to make things as simple as phone calls without telling myself I can't eat, I can't use the washroom, I can't do other things I need to do until I grow some balls and pick up the fucking phone. The fact that two weeks ago, it took me 15 minutes to get up and walk out of Wendy's has pushed me over the edge; I'm so rediculously tired of this shit.

I constantly worry that Calvin's parents don't like me, and I think it's because they don't talk to me as often as I'd like them to... but it's probably my fault for not having the guts to even say hello to them. I can't say hi to my coworkers, my boss thinks I hate my job because I never talk to her, and I'm giving up marks in school just to avoid having to do oral presentations in front of the class. There's only a select few people I feel close to completely comfortable around, and they consist of Calvin, Levar, and Aden. I'm glad Cal's so understanding, otherwise I don't know how he'd put up with me when my anxiety kicks in... He's so outgoing and friendly.

Ydsfhsgdfhsdf. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.

Anyways, this blows.
Why do I complain so much? || posted by Kaitey